Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
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i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
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Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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