I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
