It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
