Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
