I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
