It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Are my feet made of real feet?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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