I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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