South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
