As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
