My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
