God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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