my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
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i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
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We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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