My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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