he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
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