YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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