my phone needs a breathalizer
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
