How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
