how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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