I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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