Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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