and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
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I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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