He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
