Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
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