16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
