time to smoke my breakfast
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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