his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
