theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
