All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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