Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
