what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
