My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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