batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
