True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont even know how to be here
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
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