You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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