Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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