First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
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