that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
She even gives head with a lisp.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
