You can't special order awesome
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
