$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
