Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
