some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
