Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize