The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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