fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
