I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Someone signed my nipple.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize