I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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