He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Randomize
