last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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