The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Randomize
