Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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