I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
