This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
