Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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