im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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