If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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