We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
