apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I am naked and annoyed.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
