I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Randomize
