so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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