Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
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